Our new Community Guidelines will go into effect on December 17, 2018. We expect you may have some questions on how this will affect you, and we’re here to make sure those questions get answered. While we do not judge anyone for their desire to post, engage with, or view this stuff, it is time for us to change our relationship with it. Adult content will no longer be allowed here. Nipple clamps or no nipple clamps, that’s a good deal.Today we announced some big updates to our Community Guidelines and what kind of content is permitted on Tumblr. So this one guy looks at my boss and says, “Your secretary has been walking around for weeks thinking you’re a sick pervy bastard! She must have been terrified to fly out here to Chicago with you!” How bad would that screw your teen daughter up, anyway?)Īfter I tell the table, including investors and business associates (glug glug glug) about how horrified I was and how deftly I re-taped the package to look as though it had never been tampered with, and how proud I was of my handiwork, the table falls silent.
(We found out what the deal was weeks later because it turns out this lady who used to work for him was running a sex service behind her family’s back and making good money at it, but she couldn’t let her family know she was a dominatrix for hire so she had the boxes sent to her old work. I tell them the story of the accidentally opened package. I have everyone’s attention now, and at this amazing restaurant in downtown Chicago, I blurt out, way too loudly, “NIPPLE CLAMPS!” “I know what’s in them,” I say, my face turning more purple than the merlot I’m drinking. Having had like 4 glasses of wine, I raise my hand. We go out on a business trip and at dinner, he tells us about how an old secretary is sending packages to his work and picking them up from his office, and he’s DYING to know what’s in them, but he never opens them. Nipple Clamps” because that’s all that would go through my head when he walked in the door. So for weeks, I can’t make eye contact with my boss, and at one point, I almost greeted him with a “Good Morning, Mr.
Voila! It looks as though it was never opened! No one will touch this stuff! I sneak it into his office and put it on his desk with the rest of his mail. I carefully tape up the box and pack it neatly. I got mental images, playbacks – not pretty. Or maybe my boss is just seriously kinky and doesn’t have the foresight to send these types of packages TO HIS HOUSE. Halloween is coming up soon, maybe this is for a crazy party. Tons of totally rational and then totally fucked up explanations are going through my head.
MATURE NIPPLES TUMBLR HOW TO
I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TAPE UP A PACKAGE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE IT WAS NEVER OPENED.”
I hop onto my computer and pull up messenger and message my boyfriend. I throw everything back into the box as if *I’M* the one who has just committed some horrible sin against nature. “Dog collar with attached nipple clamps.”ĭogs don’t need nipple clamps, so what the shit.
What’s with the metal things? This is kind of weird, I think, so let’s pull out the invoice: I pull out some packing materials, then an item wrapped in plastic wrap. I open it as part of the standard office procedure. So I’m doing my mail duties when an odd looking package arrives for my boss, the CEO of the company. It was a pretty boring job for the most part, but every now and then there would be a wave of excitement when my boss’s crazy ex-wife would come in and scream at him in front of all of his employees. I worked as an office manager once, and it was my job to open and sort all of the mail, including packages.
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